• Collect information about eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder) from the internet, books, school nurses or other health care professionals on treatment and support.
• In your most gentle, caring and non-judgmental way, share with the person what specific changes you have observed in their personality, emotions, activities, energy level and eating behaviors.
• Listen to your loved one’s thoughts, feelings and responses to your concerns .
• Suggest they seek a physical and psychological assessment by a qualified professional. Give the person the names and phone numbers of some treatment sources.
• If the person is an under age 18, discuss what you are seeing with parent(s), teachers, or guidance counselors, school nurses or social workers. Do not promise to keep the eating disorder a "secret." This is a life threatening illness.
• Often people with eating disorders (and their parents) will be in denial and may become upset (especially anorexics). Try not to be discouraged. Recognize that you have broken through his/her psychological defense. The person is frightened and feelings of shame, fear or guilt can trigger desire to hang on to the eating disorder. Focus on the emotional, personality and behavior changes resulting from the eating disorder and offer continuing support and resources.
• Recognize your own attitude and amount of focus on your weight, body shape, and dieting practices. How might this be triggering or encouraging a friend, family member, or child to follow your pattern? Know that it isn’t your fault.
• Try not to use food as a way to socialize, basically try to keep the time spent eating as low key and easy going as possible. Negative experiences at the table can become associated with eating and then food can be thought of as a problem.
• Recognize that the purpose of food is to fulfill hunger.
• Avoid interfering or monitoring the food that the person eats, once the person is in treatment.
• People with eating disorders are very sensitive to non-verbal behavior, attitudes of impatience, judgment, avoidance of them, and a fleeting expression, tone of voice. All of these intense feelings, coupled with inadequacy can intensify the eating disorder symptoms.
• Recovery from an Eating Disorder takes time, relapses are common, and there will be tough times and ok times.

Other Guidelines for family and friends

• Treating the person with an eating disorder like a child doesn’t work. Parents do not deny your daughter or son some parental guidance, but at the same time remember that he/she has many adult abilities, which need to be developed.
• Try not to make comments on how the person looks. Saying things such as: "You're looking far too thin." or, "You're looking good!" encourages body image obsessions. Instead, focus on other areas of the person's life and their strengths as much as possible.
• Do not allow the dysfunctional behavior to be overlooked, otherwise, you are rewarding it.
• You need to increase the person's responsibility for his/her behavior. If necessary describe the behavior you are seeing, try to separate the behavior from the person. State your observations.
• If a person is binge eating, offer to discuss with the person how you could help him/her. For example: Perhaps they may want you to remove binge foods from obvious places to discourage binge eating.
• Scare tactics do not work and should not be used.
• Give the person time to improve unless you suspect that his/her life is in danger. Negotiate a plan that may include certain behaviors such as eating regularly or decreasing purging. If the verbal contract is broken, seek professional help.
• If a person appears to be showing signs of extreme physical problems yet refuses help, a decision needs to be made by the parents and professionals to determine if treatment is necessary and how to initiate it.

Note: By reviewing this information you are agreeing that the information provided on this site is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be medical advice or to be used for diagnosis or treatment. None of the information should be used as a substitute for evaluation and treatment by a qualified medical or mental health professional. If you have, or suspect you have a health problem, you should immediately contact a physician or other health care professional in your area.