• Recognize your own attitude and amount of focus on your weight, body shape, and dieting practices. How might this be triggering or encouraging a friend, family member, or child to follow your pattern?
• Try not to use food as a socializing agent.
• Recognize that food has a purpose: to fulfill hunger.
• If there are family or friendship disagreements, try not to argue at the table. Such negative experiences become associated with eating and then food is thought of as a problem.
• Allow the eating disordered person to be in charge of their own eating.
• Avoid monitoring the food that the person eats, once the person is in treatment.

• The person with an eating disorder is sensitive to non-verbal behavior, judging others' attitudes toward them by a fleeting expression, a tone of voice, or even the movement of your body.
• Try to remember their intense feelings of inadequacy. Attitudes of scorn, disgust, or impatience exhibited toward a person with an eating disorder intensifies his/her symptoms.
• Recognize that the person may deny your observations and be upset (especially if anorexic). Try not to be discouraged. Recognize that you have broken through his/her psychological defense. The person is frightened.
• Do not expect an immediate 100% recovery. As with any disorder, there will be a period of convalescence. There may be relapses. There will be difficult days when all of the old tensions flare up again.
• Collect information about anorexia nervosa and bulimia, and local sources for treatment and support. A good place to begin is your local mental health association or a health care professional.
• In a caring and non-judgmental way, tell the person what you have observed in the way of anorexic or bulimic behavior. Suggest they seek a physical and a psychological assessment by a qualified professional. Give the individual the name and phone number of a treatment source.
• If the person is a minor, discuss your observation with parent(s), teachers, or guidance counselors (check your community's laws and regulations). Do not promise to keep the eating disorder a "secret."
• If the individual and/or the parent(s) deny there is a problem, consult with a health care professional, an eating disorder treatment center, children's services, or local health services for what to do next. Be patient, and let the individual know you are both concerned and available for further consultation.
• When a person begins treatment be natural and caring with them, but do not discuss eating, weight, or appearance. Do not insist that the person eat or change attitudes. Become involved in activities and discussions with them that don't center around food and weight issues.

• Do not treat the person with an eating disorder like a child. If you are a parent, do not deny your daughter or son some parental guidance, but at the same time remember that he/she has many adult abilities which need to be developed.
• When you speak to the person; speak with compassion and concern. Be as descriptive as possible.
• Avoid focusing on how the person looks with comments such as: "You're looking far too thin." or, "You're looking good!" This encourages body image obsessions. Instead, focus on other areas of the person's life as much as possible.
• Explain what you suspect by describing the person's problematic behaviors. State your observations.
  • For example: "I'm noticing that you are skipping meals. You're eating less at each meal. You're exercising more and it's obvious that you are losing a large amount of weight. I'm concerned for your health."
• Do not allow the dysfunctional behavior to be overlooked, otherwise, you are rewarding it. You need to increase the person's responsibility for his/her behavior.
• Set rules with the person regarding what is acceptable food to eat and how many meals a day are acceptable. Then focus conversations on other topics.
• If a person is binge eating, discuss with the person how you could help him/her.
  • For example: Perhaps they may want you to remove binge foods from obvious places to discourage binge eating
• Do not use scare tactics. They are not appropriate and they do not work.
• Give the person time to improve unless you suspect that his/her life is in danger. Negotiate a plan that may include certain behaviors such as eating regularly or decreasing purging. If the verbal contract is broken, seek professional help.
• If a person appears to be showing signs of extreme physical problems yet refuses help, a decision needs to be made by the parents and professional to determine if treatment is necessary and how to initiate it.
• Try not to spy or interfere once the person with the eating disorder is in treatment.
• Provide specific information for help; names of treatment providers and phone numbers. There may be eating disorder specialists in your community or there may be support groups for eating disorders. Have the information available when you approach the person.

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Note: By reviewing this information you are agreeing that the information provided on this site is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be medical advice or to be used for diagnosis or treatment. None of the information should be used as a substitute for evaluation and treatment by a qualified medical or mental health professional. If you have, or suspect you have a health problem, you should immediately contact a physician or other health care professional in your area.